Even though I’m timid and hate to open up and admit some things, I just have to let this one out.
I recall the excruciating pain that kissed me “Happy August!” Knowing fully well that there was nothing to be happy about in pain. I reluctantly gave my cheeks to be kissed and watched silently how it taunt and hurt me in the most annoying way.
I’m not a stranger to pain, but this one held me down so strong and I was between life and death. For a moment in my health journey, I understood pain defers from pain just that it answers the same name.
I had deceived myself a long while ago that “tears is for weaklings” so I didn’t cry and no one really understood the gravity of what I was going through.
I remember writing “I’m walking through the valley of the shadow of death” on my Facebook timeline and only a few bothered to ask what I meant by that.
You see, until you’re tried with what you thought you’ve overcome, you will always believe it can never weigh you down or get at you anymore.
And not until you loose some things, you will never appreciate the value of it because you’ll always take it for granted.
I lost my wholeness to pain for a whole week and some days and it was only then It dawned on me and I understood I am enjoying a supernatural inner health despite the physical health that seems to look bleak.
I felt what it means to be far from the fountain that flows to satisfy my soul and I crawled back to it grateful for all it springs forth, not minding the emptiness my mind and laziness had lured me to believe.
My testimony though, I learnt to be grateful for the little things and I’ve been counting since then till now, over a month and I haven’t tasted those pills that I’ve been placed on for years and I’m doing really great without it(them)! Not like it was effective or it eased me completely of what I use it for daily, but the fear of ‘whatever’ gripped me didn’t make me miss a dose. It was crazy! This isn’t by my understanding or by my faithfulness, but by Grace. I don’t know why God loves me so.
Looking back at it now and I’m grateful!
If you’re healthy and living your life without any medical aid and you still rant about life, you don’t know what you’ve got! You don’t even know the privilege you’re blessed with!
No matter what you’re going through and how far away hope seems, just hold on and see beyond the bleakness.
Even though it seems like you see little or no changes in that situation that has kept you on your knees for eons, just believe that: beyond that frowning providence, God hides a smiling face with a timing more favorable and glorious than yours.
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