Earlier today I was singing the hymn “When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder” with my nephew and a voice within asked “if the roll is called this moment will you truly be there?” I just smiled and shook my head trying to wave the thought away.
Lately I’ve been far from the Fountain that flows to bring me peace. I stare at the Bread of Life but I’m not sure of what to do with it. The challenges and pain I faced these past weeks seems to have had an hard toll on me; it almost swayed me away. Despite my timidity, I have to admit that I almost threw in the towel. It was that serious!
But God always knows a way to drag Fikayo back to the Cross and awaken me again. Why He always does that will be one of the many questions I’ll ask God when I see Him.
I think my falling away from Him always comes from the fact that I’ve always held Him as this Supreme Being somewhere far away that choose whom to bless and whom to talk to. I’ve had this imprecision that: I can’t ask Him questions with the fear of the quote “no one can question God.” It took me forever to understand that God is not a weirdo who I can’t talk to freely and this kept me in confusion and affected my state of mind and even after knowing the truth that I can ask Him any question about anything that seems to confuse me, I still find it a difficult thing to adapt to.
I’ll just hoard it in and after a while I’m like “God just stay away for a moment for me to get myself together. I can’t even afford to ask you why all these is happening to me. I’ll be back when I have it all sorted out.”
But He(God) on the other hand keeps watching and when He sees that I’ve learnt my lessons, but I’m about to quit on everything, He shows up again and brings me back in His hands like a little baby; I’m His baby anyways.
One truth is this: God is not a weird Father and Friend whom we can’t ask questions. Jeremiah 33:3 settles this. We can’t question His authority or question Him for His plans or why He made something so, but we can always ask Him about issues we are confused and not sure about.
I hate it when I have to put Him in such stress of dragging me back every now and then, I know He isn’t complaining about that.. But I want us all to know we are serving a God who sees and knows where the shoes hurt, but He wants us to speak and talk to Him if we really want to keep the shoes or pull it off.
He knows we are seeking answers to those questions, but He wants us to commune with Him and ask questions about the situation to get answers.
God can’t be questioned, but we can surely ask Him questions that I know for sure and these two are different phrase with different meaning.
Hey there, what is it that is bothering you like me? What questions have you lurked within and wish to find answers to, but you are too scared to ask?
Believe me, you are Just a prayer away filled with all your questions and everything will be settled.
It’s time you open up and let the healer set you free!